Men, you can last longer. For years, I silently battled premature ejaculation and test-drove every bizarre remedy I stumbled upon. Follow these exercises that finally worked for me
1. MASTER MASTURBATION
Masturbate with a woman's orgasm in mind, not your own. In other words, take your time: Work up to 15 minutes. Bring yourself close to the point of no return, but don't let yourself ejaculate until time is up.
If you're overheating during masturbation or sex, stop and squeeze right below the head of your penis. Apply firm pressure with your thumb and forefinger and focus the pressure on the urethra—the tube running along the underside of the penis. The squeeze technique, developed by those icons of sex therapy, Masters and Johnson, pushes blood out of the penis and momentarily decreases sexual tension and represses the ejaculatory response.
3. PINPOINT EJACULATORY INEVITABILITY
Masters and Johnson broke the process of sexual response into four phases: excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. It's the plateau and orgasm phases we're most concerned with, as most men crash through the former, straight into the latter. The trick is to slow down and recognize that there's a spectrum of feelings throughout the process of sexual response and to recognize your own point of ejaculatory inevitability. Rate your sexual excitement on a scale of 1 to 10. Try keeping yourself at 7
Do your Kegels. A Kegel is an exercise that helps tighten the pubococcygeal (PC) muscles of the pelvic floor. Both men and women have them, and you can become familiar with the muscle group by cutting off the flow of urine and then starting and stopping it repeatedly. (Begin with a full bladder.)
Once you have the exercise down, practice your Kegels anywhere: at your desk, behind the wheel. Tighten your PC muscles and hold for a count of 10, then release. Practice in sets of 10. Stronger PC muscles will help you exercise ejaculatory control when you approach the point of inevitability.
5. PRESS, DON'T THRUST
Tease her, taunt her: Press the head of your penis into her clitoral head. Linger in her vaginal entrance, where the most sensitive nerve endings are. When you do have intercourse, focus on small, shallow movements that penetrate the first 2 to 3 inches of her vaginal canal. Press your penis against her G-spot. You'll last longer if you're not thrusting vigorously.
6. SHOW A LITTLE COURTESY
Ladies first, gentlemen—and I'm talking about more than just holding the door open. Keep your woman happy. Women have an innate capacity to experience multiple orgasms. When you help her to her first one, it relieves you of some of the pressure to please and the psychological anxiety that feeds into PE. Use your fingers; use your mouth. Don't know how?